Below are excerpts from a beautiful explanation of kindness by Fr. Frederick Faber. May what follows touch your heart!
“He (man) has one power in particular, which is not sufficiently dwelt on, and with which we will at present occupy ourselves. It is the power of making the world happy, or at least of so greatly diminishing the amount of unhappiness in it, as to make it quite a different world from what it is at present. This power is called kindness.
The worst kinds of unhappiness, as well as the greatest amount of it, come from our conduct to each other. If our conduct, therefore, were under the control of kindness, it would be nearly the opposite of what it is, and so the state of the world would be almost reversed. We are for the most part unhappy, because the world is an unkind world. But the world is only unkind for the lack of kindness in us units who compose it. […]
Now let us be a little particular about kindness, and describe it as accurately as we can. Kindness is the overflowing of self upon others. We put others in the place of self. We treat them as we would wish to be treated ourselves. We change places with them. […] Then, again, kindness is the coming to the rescue of others, when they need it and it is in our power to supply what they need; and this is the work of the Attributes of God towards His creatures. His omnipotence is for ever making up our deficiency of power. His justice is continually correcting our erroneous judgments. His mercy is always consoling our fellow-creatures under our hardheartedness. His truth is perpetually hindering the consequences of our falsehood. His omniscience makes our ignorance succeed as if it were knowledge. His perfections are incessantly coming to the rescue of our imperfections. This is the definition of Providence; and kindness is our imitation of this divine action. […]
Kindness adds sweetness to everything. […] It does unnecessary work, which when done, looks the most necessary work that could be. If it goes to soothe a sorrow, it does more than soothe it. If it relieves a want, it cannot do so without doing more than relieve it. […]
Last of all, the secret impulse out of which kindness acts is an instinct which is the noblest part of ourselves, the most undoubted remnant of the image of God, which was given us at the first. […] It is a divine thing rather than a human one, and it is human because it springs from the soul of man just at the point where the divine image was graven deepest. Such is kindness.
Now let us consider its office in the world, in order that we may get a clearer idea of itself. It makes life more endurable. The burden of life presses heavily upon multitudes of the children of men. […] It is true that we make ourselves more unhappy than other people make us. No slight portion of this self-inflicted unhappiness arises from our sense of justice being so continually wounded by the events of life, while the incessant friction of the world never allows the wound to heal. […]
Each solitary kind action that is done, the whole world over, is working briskly in its own sphere to restore the balance between right and wrong. The more kindness there is on the earth at any given moment, the greater is the tendency of the balance between right and wrong to correct itself, and remain in equilibrium. Nay, this is short of the truth. Kindness allies itself with right to invade the wrong, and beat it off the earth. […]
God looks over the fallen world, and repents that He made man. Kindness sees less clearly the ruin of God's original idea than it sees still that first beneficent idea, and it sets to work to cleanse what is defiled, and to restore what is defaced. […]
It is constantly winning strayed souls back to Him, opening hearts that seemed obstinately closed, enlightening minds that had been wilfully darkened, skilfully throwing the succours of hope into strongholds that were on the point of capitulating to despair, lifting endeavour from low to high, from high to higher, from higher to highest. Everywhere kindness is the best pioneer of the Precious Blood.
We often begin our own repentance by acts of kindness, or through them. […] Kindness has converted more sinners than either zeal, eloquence, or learning; and these three last have never converted any one, unless they were kind also. […]
What does kindness do for those to whom we show it? […] What we note first, as of great consequence, is the immense power of kindness in bringing out the good points of the characters of others. Almost all men have more goodness in them than the ordinary intercourse of the world enables us to discover. […] A creature, who has got capabilities in him to live for ever, can hardly have room in threescore years to do more than give specimens of what he might be, and will be. But, beside this, who has not seen how disagreeable and faulty characters will expand under kindness? […]
But kindness does not reveal these things to us external spectators only. It reveals a man to himself. It rouses the long dormant self-respect with which grace will speedily ally itself, and purify it by its alliance. […] It is not improbable that no man ever had a kind action done to him, who did not in consequence commit a sin less than he otherwise would have done. […] and this is the second work (of kindness) […] There are few gifts more precious to a soul than to make its sins fewer. It is in our power to do this almost daily, and sometimes often in a day.
Another work, which our kindness does in the hearts of others, is to encourage them in their efforts after good. Habits of sin, even when put to death as habits, leave many evil legacies behind them. One of the most disastrous parts of their inheritance is discouragement. […]
How many plans for God's glory have fallen to the ground, which a bright look or a kind eye would have propped up! […] How many institutions for the comfort of the poor, or the saving of souls, have languished, more for want of approbation than of money […] But, if we have no notion of the far- reaching mischief which unkindness does, so neither can we rightly estimate the good which kindness may do. […] That encouragement may be the first link of a new chain, which, when its length is finished, shall be called final perseverance. […]
Few men can do without praise, and there are few circumstances under which a man can be praised without injuring him. […] Praise always implies some degree of condescension; and condescension is a thing intrinsically ungraceful, whereas kindness is the most graceful attitude one man can assume towards another. So here is another work it does. It supplies the place of praise. […]
Moreover kindness is infectious. No kind action ever stopped with itself. […] One kind action leads to another. […] This is the greatest work which kindness does to others, that it makes them kind themselves. […]
Thus, for all these reasons, there is no better thing, which we can do for others, than to be kind to them; and our kindness is the greatest gift they can receive, except the grace of God. […] We have seen what it does for the world.
We have seen what it does for our neighbours; now let us see how it blesses ourselves. […] Foremost among the common ways in which kind actions benefit ourselves may be mentioned the help they give us in getting clear of selfishness. The tendency of nature to love itself has more the character of a habit than a law. Opposite conduct always tends to weaken it […] Perhaps we may never come to be quite unselfish. However, there is but one road towards that, which is kindness; and every step taken on that road is a long stride heavenwards. […]
Inward happiness almost always follows a kind action; and who has not long since experienced in himself, that inward happiness is the atmosphere in which great things are done for God […] Much grace goes along with kindness, collateral graces more than sufficient in themselves to make a saint. […] Indeed Christian kindness implies so much grace, that it almost assures the exercise of humility. A proud man is seldom a kind man. Humility makes us kind, and kindness makes us humble. […]
Kindness does so much for us that it would be almost more easy to enumerate what it does not do, than to sum up what it does. […] It is kindness which enables most men to put off the inseparable unpleasantness of youth. It watches the thoughts, controls the words, and helps us to unlearn early manhood's inveterate habit of criticism. It is astonishing how masterful it is in its influence over our dispositions, and yet how gentle, quiet, consistent, and successful. It makes us thoughtful and considerate. […] A kind man is a man who is never self-occupied. He is genial; he is sympathetic; he is brave. […] It prepares us with an especial preparation for the paths of disinterested love of God. […] It is also a peculiar participation of the spirit of Jesus, which is itself the life of all holiness. […]
Rightly considered, kindness is the grand cause of God in the world. […] What is our life? It is a mission to go into every corner it can reach, and reconquer for God's beatitude His unhappy world back to Him. It is a devotion of ourselves to the bliss of the Divine Life by the beautiful apostolate of kindness.”
CALL TO ACTION: Remember that 'Creation was divine kindness. From it as from a fountain, flow the possibilities, the powers, the blessings of all created kindness.' …so make kindness your life's mission in imitation of Him!
Source: “Spiritual Conferences” (6th edition) by Father Frederick William Faber, D.D. (priest of the Oratory of St. Philip Neri); On Kindness in General, pages 1-16; London: Burns & Oates, Limited; New York: Catholic Publication Society
Photo by Matt Collamer